I was trying to find a cheap pair of shoes at the stupid
mall the other day and could’ve sworn I was at the Humane Society. It seemed like every other person had a dog
with them – dogs in sweaters, dogs in cutesy carry bags, dogs in special doggy
strollers, dogs peeing on the Victoria’s Secret panty pyramid. Now I understand
the special bond between human and canine – I’ve owned a few dogs in my life.
However as Waylon Jennings once said, “Don’t ya’ll think this dog bit’s done
got out of hand?” Well, he didn’t say
that exactly, but the spirit was there.
Dogs have moved from the backyard to… well… everywhere! They even had a banner at the damn swap meet
proclaiming “We Are Dog Friendly!” Dogs are top news. I was watching the news the other morning and
they were describing a traffic accident – “A man and his two children were
taken to the hospital and treated for minor injuries. Their dog escaped without
injury.” Really? I don’t care about the damn dog. Hell, I don’t really care about the accident
either.
What has happened that has caused society to vault dogs into
pampered child status? Is it the ever
present fashion-pooch in the clutches of every pseudo TV celebutard? Is it folks without children projecting their
need to be a parent onto an animal? Or is it that people have finally caved in
with guilt after watching that sad puppy/kitty infomercial with Sarah
McLachlan and contributed to “the cause?”
I don’t know the answer, but I do know I’m sick of it. Cute rain coats, fancy sunglasses and mini
motorcycles with training wheels do not make your dog a human. Unless you’re blind or taking a happy lab to a
hospital to cheer up sick people, leave the dog at home!
I guess what I’m really trying to say is, I don’t want to see your
precious labradoodle pumping out a steamer while I’m trying to eat my dipping
dots at the food court… Come On!
